Have you ever had a nightmare that seemed so real to you that you woke up in a cold sweat with heart pounding? You were trying to scream and nothing came out. Trying to run, yet getting nowhere. Looking for a way out only to be blinded? Wanting to cry and the tears couldn’t even be forced out?
This is, in part, a response to a dear Christian lady who was trying to give me some encouragement for such a time as this. A time that we need God’s almighty power to be able to minister in the proper way to the brokenness of a family that needs to feel the sweet touch of the Master’s hand and hear His voice in the deafening roar of reality!
His return will not be soon enough for me! I pray everyday for Him to come get us all out of this mess of world we live in. It's so hard in this particular situation to minister to a family that is hurting so deeply because there are no really good or sufficient answers to give them. We live in a fallen world and sin brings about senseless tragedies like this. Man brought sin into this world and like the Bible so clearly states: “the wages of sin is death.” However, let me clarify, I am in no way saying that this family was taken from here because of some particular sin they committed, so please don’t mistake my point here. I know full well God sees the WHOLE picture.....the beginning and the end!!!!! And none of this took "Him" by surprise. I know that He is capable of bringing something good out of the most horrible of situations. I cling to Romans 8:28 like a vine clings to a wall!!! I have to or I would not have made it this far in life!! When we walked into Joanna's moms house yesterday it was so extremely difficult because there were several pictures of Ashley and Tyler laying there on the coffee table. Just to see the anguish and pain on the face of a set of parents/grandparents who are suffering such tremendous pain would have been enough to bear, but that topped it off: a family who is so broken not knowing where to start. An entire family that is suffering loss greater than we can even begin to wrap our minds around.
Please don't stop the prayers for us. I know this will be hard for my husband as he built a very strong relationship with Tyler.....they were "buddies" and Ashley helped me so immensely in Jr. Church when she would come. They will forever hold a special place in our hearts!! Pray for God to give my husband clarity of speech in his message and that God will sing "through" me because certainly I will not be able to utter one note without His strength!!! Pray for the other Pastor who will also speak and his daughter who will sing as well. If only one life can be reached for Christ through all of this mess, it will somehow be worth the struggle in a strange sense of it all.
Joanna’s mother made a statement yesterday while we were there that made an impact on me and caused me to somehow piece it together in some odd way. She said: "They (meaning Brian, Joanna and the kids) did EVERYTHING together. There was NOTHING they did apart from one another." My husband had previously made the statement that God was merciful enough to not leave one without the other. And I couldn't help but think..........that's a display of God's Amazing Grace........they did everything here together and so God, in all His loving kindness, so carefully orchestrated their “Homegoing” together as well!!!!!!!!!! Now………..is that any consolation for that family? Not hardly. I would never say it to them because they cannot see past their pain, anguish and tears right now. No one expects them to and if anyone does they are foolish. But for those of us who can sit back and look in from the outside can maybe see a dim reflection, just a glimpse of that moment when they all entered the gates of Heaven together. In life they lived and loved and in death they are still living…….Living where they will never face death again!! Death has been swallowed up in Victory for them!!! One day, hopefully they will be able to sort it out and looking back see a partial explanation to this horrifying time they were called to go through. Until then we all need to flood Heaven with pleas of mercy for them!!
We sometimes ask the question: “Lord, why this road? Why this pain?” But we have to be confident in the fact that He has never failed us and will not. He can not!! He promised He would not!! I know with all my heart that He will come shining through this time even though I can’t see it now. I guess when I asked Him to mold me to be more like Him; I forgot to mention that I didn't want it to be this painful. But, we all know the old cliché......."no pain......no gain!!!" What we all need to realize is that "His pain" was for "our gain."
The family I have spoken of is living out the worst nightmare a family could ever have to imagine. However, with God’s grace and by His grace only, they will be able to wake up from it one day and see through the pain. They will never, ever be able to “get over” it, but with our prayers and God’s love they will be able to “go on” in spite of it. My prayer for them is God’s Amazing grace showers them like a flood and covers them in constant waves of mercy.
“In seasons of distress and grief, my soul has often found relief…….by Thy return sweet hour of prayer.” As great as the depths of their grief, greater is the depths of our Father’s love.
“You, which have shown me great and sore troubles,
will revive me again, and will bring me up again from
the depths of the earth. You will increase my greatness,
and comfort me on every side.
Psalm 71:20-21
Psalm 71:20-21
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