"SLEEP"

“Exhaustion is a great sleep inducer.” Those are the words my husband heard as I called him shortly after I woke up!!! Now for those who know me you are scratching your head wondering about that statement. Most people know that I “do not” sleep without him lying next to me or at least in the close proximity of me!!! In all of our married life I have never been able to sleep unless he was home!!! However, he’s been on the early shift for the past two weeks, which means rolling out of bed at 2 am, 1:45 am to be exact!! Yikes!!! I know……. that’s early!!! Obviously my body thinks the same thing!!! For the past 2 Sunday nights we have not gotten home until at least 11 pm. Going to bed at 11:30 pm, not going to sleep until midnight and getting up at 2 am is not a good combination!! I know you’re thinking “why haven’t we gotten home before then and why are we laying down in bed at such a ridiculous hour” when we “know” we have to get up so early. It’s all “in the line of duty” so to speak!!! Some things just have to be done and there’s no getting around them. Well, at least not if your last name is “Spencer” and your first name is Jeff or Darlene!!!!! Anyways……when he left for work this morning I went and laid back down in the bed, which is not really uncommon because I’ll usually lay there until he calls to let me know he’s there safely, but I totally knocked out until my alarm went off and then if that wasn’t bad enough, I dozed back off for a few minutes and then phone rang!!!! I was grateful I was half awake! I may not have heard the phone!! Hard as it is to admit, and no I haven’t the foggiest idea why, I was completely and utterly exhausted!!! Enough is enough I guess you could say!! After all, I have now found out that I am human!! Who would’ve thought!!!?? There’s only so much that you can tolerate and then you just have to give it up and give in and if you don’t then your body does it for you!!! Yep…..that’s what happened. However much I “did not” want to sleep without my husband here, my body had other plans!!! I should have known it would catch up with me sooner or later!!!

Sometimes I think that’s the way we are in our lives as a Christian. We fight and fight and we never win. We do everything in our power and we just wear ourselves out and then when it finally comes down to it we collapse due to spiritual exhaustion!! When in all reality if we had just given in and let God do what He does best, we wouldn’t have been so worn out!!!

I’m grateful that God finally “made me to lie down” and get some rest. I feel so much better!!! New energy to face another day!! Now……I’m going to bed at a decent hour!!

“He restores my soul”
Psalm 23:3

"REGRETS"

So many times in life we have regrets. Regrets about things we didn’t do……places we didn’t go…..people we didn’t see or talk to. And when the time comes and the opportunity passes we say things like; I wish I had taken time…..I wish I had gone here or there, etc. I wish, I wish, I wish. We spend our lives “wishing” things and never doing some of the most important things! The truth of the matter is that we “make” time for the things we “want,” but sadly enough many times not for what we “need” to do. Those are the times….the times that the opportunity is gone forever and that’s when we’re left to carry the burden of guilt. Those people that we love should take the highest priority in our lives, yet many times they are left unattended to until we “have” time. We need to realize that we only have ONE chance at this life we live here on earth and so does everyone else. Unfortunately many people use that as an unhealthy advantage to do things they really shouldn’t but they consider it their “once in a lifetime” opportunity. In all reality, there are more important things that in life than those times. When someone you love is hurting or in need, that’s the time to respond….right then….. in that moment. My Grannie used to say: “there’s no time like the present.” We need to realize just how true that statement was. There is no time like the present because what you did yesterday is gone and what you want to do tomorrow may never happen. Take time today to love, laugh and live life to it’s fullest. Jesus did. He loved deeply. In His Word we’re reminded laughter is like medicine to us and He lived His life to the fullest and gave it all for us. Isn’t it time we started living the example He left us? We simply “cannot” turn back the hands of time so regrets only come when we ignore the present need.

Today’s opportunities will never pass this way again so we need to live today like yesterday never happened……………..and the tomorrow we may never see.

You don't even know what tomorrow will bring--
what your life will be! For you are but a vapor
that appears for a little while, then vanishes.
James 4:14

"WHERE WILL YOU BE TOMORROW?"

The news came that there had been a fatal traffic accident and the life of one of our close friends son had been taken prematurely. “How awful. How tragic,” I thought. Only 18 and his life was ended so suddenly. Then the phone rang. “Will you sing at the funeral” I heard as the words stung my heart. Immediately I responded, “of course I will!” I couldn’t say no. I’ve always considered it an honor to be asked to sing no matter the situation or place. As I hung up the phone I began to think of what I would sing. It depended on whether he was saved or not. My usual song is “Serenaded by Angels,” but how could I possibly sing that if I was uncertain about his salvation. I picked up the phone and quickly called the Pastor in charge of the service and asked him. “Yes, when he was younger he made a profession of faith” he said. Praise God, an affirmative answer! I was so relieved. I got the CD out and put it in and began to sing it and I began to imagine all the beauties he was gazing on at that very moment. I couldn’t help but have an extremely heavy heart for his parents, family and friends, but all I could think of is how he was indeed led to the throne of God by the angels who were sent to receive him into the Kingdom of Heaven. What joy he must have felt. What splendor he must have saw as he entered the gates of that city so bright and fair. The joy he must have felt as he was met by his grandmother who had recently passed and all the other ones who had gone on before him. What a welcoming committee that surely must have met him at the gate!!

The funeral would be set for that following Saturday so I thought to myself I’ll have some short amount of time to get a grip on my emotions so I could sing. Saturday came and as we drove up to the funeral home we would find that there was nowhere to park! The parking lot was full, across the street was full, down the sides of the roads were full!! As we entered the funeral home we quickly found that there would be “standing room only” also!! The people were packed in like sardines. So many people had come to pay tribute to this young man. The service began and a good friend sang first. A hush fell over the crowd as she began to sing “Ten Thousand Angels Cried.” The Pastor prayed and then opened it up for whose who wished to say something in honor of the young man. It was one right after another. The story remained the same throughout most of their words. “He was the best friend I ever had. He was special, kind, loving, caring, extremely intelligent, etc. He gave me some sense of worth in my life. He will be our guardian angel now to watch over us. I can’t believe he’s gone and I’ll never see him again. I never had a friend before him. I most likely will never have another friend!” The last sentence struck me so hard. I thought, “oh if you only knew his Jesus you would know that you have a friend. One that will never leave you!” I had already prayed for the officiating Pastor, but at that point I began to ask God to empower him in a way that he could penetrate the hearts that were being destroyed by their grief. They were devastated without any hope. I realized they did not know Jesus therefore they would be tormented by their loss for a very long time. I prayed God would somehow show those young and old alike the hope that this young man had had. As each one took the podium my heart became more and more burdened and saddened by what I was hearing. The tears began to pour. Not so much for the young man’s body who was occupying the casket, but for those who had no hope of ever seeing him again!!! How horrible that must be I thought to myself!! As the last person sat down the Pastor took the podium again and as he spoke a lump formed in my throat and the tears burned my eyes. As I stood there and prayed for a peace I felt a hand on my shoulder and knew it was my husband. In a moment I knew he was praying for me as I felt the very presence of God fill me from the top of my head to the soles of my feet. A calm fell over me that I have never known before. As the Pastor ended the service with a prayer I began to make my way to the podium to sing. I prayed that those who were in range of my voice would hear the words to my song and they would realize all that the Pastor has said about being ready for Heaven would come to life in their minds. The Pastor had given a time of invitation for those who did not have the hope of seeing their friend again. He made it perfectly clear that without the salvation that this young man had experienced there would be no glad reunion day for them, but if they did they would definitely see him again! I prayed that in some small way the words of my song would reiterate what the Pastor had said and they would receive Christ as their Savior. As I sang a song that normally has no volume without a microphone (which the funeral home had none), the words came out strong and clear and I was told later it could be heard to the back of the funeral home!! It had nothing to do with me. It had all to do with the wonderful Saviour that the song spoke of and the Pastor spoke of. It spoke of the same Saviour that this young man knew. The same Saviour he is now with. My prayer is that his friends and loved ones will realize the brevity of life. I pray they will consider the fact that his tomorrow never came here on this earth, but began in Heaven and will prepare for that place should their tomorrow never come here. I am at peace with where I know he is, but my heart still is burdened for those who know no peace because they do not know Jesus as their Saviour. I pray through this they will believe. Never go to sleep angry, harbor bitter feelings about someone or fail to tell someone you love them and mean it because you are not guaranteed to see or speak with them again. Most importantly be prepared just in case your tomorrow doesn’t start here on this earth!

“Therefore thus will I do unto thee, O Israel: and because I will do this unto thee, prepare to meet thy God, O Israel. “
Amos 4:12

"He Knows"

Everybody has a story. As I sat and scanned the crowd there were many I knew and many I didn’t. As each singer took the stage my mind began to wander as I had thoughts of “I know about her struggles. I know his weakness. I know about their family. I know this, I know that……” I have no idea why those thoughts were racing through my mind. I had to question myself. You know what you’re doing to and how would you feel if you knew someone was sitting thinking those thoughts about you?” Trouble is, we don’t know ANYTHING unless we know the Lord. We may think we know everyone’s story, but we need to remember God knows “OUR” story. “The song came to my mind that Sami and I sing. “He Knows My Name.” That song is one of comfort and assurance that no matter what you’re going through, He will always be there for you. It became a sobering thought to me. It turned from comfort to reality. He knows exactly every intricate detail of my life. Seen and unseen. Heard and unheard. He knows our struggles, our weakness, our failures, our troubles, but the greatest thing of all is that in the midst of billions of people, He knows me!!! Every time I call on Him He answers. When He sees me, He looks beyond all my faults and failures. He never sits and thinks about what we’ve done or what we’re doing. He never prides Himself on thinking He knows anything on us!!! He never has anything that He deems worthy to “hold over our head” because all He sees when He looks at us is the Blood. That precious blood that takes the blackest heart and makes it whiter than snow.

Is there someone you look at and have thoughts of knowing their “story?” Have you shared what you know about someone? Before you decide to share your thoughts with anyone, first remember that God doesn’t share your story with anyone. You should do the same.

LUNCHTIME EVERYONE!!!!!!

This was the first day of our church serving the "WorldChangers" group that has come to our area to provide free labor to homes that are in need of repairs. What an AWESOME bunch of young people and leaders!!! It was such a joy to serve them. I haven't heard "thank you" that much since I was a kid........when manners were actually taught in the home!!!!!!!!! To many times these days young people take so much for granted. Not this group!!!! They were thankful for every little thing!!! I had the bright idea to just buy a "hodge-podge" of hard candies so maybe they could put a couple of pieces in their pockets for later and you would've thought I had pieces of gold in the container!!!! I am just blown away at the gratitude they showed!!! You could tell they had been working hard and were ready for lunch.(As you can see, some were already suffering from exhaustion!!!!!) :-)

What a wonderful thing they are doing!!!! We're praying for them every day that God will use their talents for His glory!!!

"HEAR OUR PRAYER, O LORD"

Have you ever had a nightmare that seemed so real to you that you woke up in a cold sweat with heart pounding? You were trying to scream and nothing came out. Trying to run, yet getting nowhere. Looking for a way out only to be blinded? Wanting to cry and the tears couldn’t even be forced out?

This is, in part, a response to a dear Christian lady who was trying to give me some encouragement for such a time as this. A time that we need God’s almighty power to be able to minister in the proper way to the brokenness of a family that needs to feel the sweet touch of the Master’s hand and hear His voice in the deafening roar of reality!

His return will not be soon enough for me! I pray everyday for Him to come get us all out of this mess of world we live in. It's so hard in this particular situation to minister to a family that is hurting so deeply because there are no really good or sufficient answers to give them. We live in a fallen world and sin brings about senseless tragedies like this. Man brought sin into this world and like the Bible so clearly states: “the wages of sin is death.” However, let me clarify, I am in no way saying that this family was taken from here because of some particular sin they committed, so please don’t mistake my point here. I know full well God sees the WHOLE picture.....the beginning and the end!!!!! And none of this took "Him" by surprise. I know that He is capable of bringing something good out of the most horrible of situations. I cling to Romans 8:28 like a vine clings to a wall!!! I have to or I would not have made it this far in life!! When we walked into Joanna's moms house yesterday it was so extremely difficult because there were several pictures of Ashley and Tyler laying there on the coffee table. Just to see the anguish and pain on the face of a set of parents/grandparents who are suffering such tremendous pain would have been enough to bear, but that topped it off: a family who is so broken not knowing where to start. An entire family that is suffering loss greater than we can even begin to wrap our minds around.

Please don't stop the prayers for us. I know this will be hard for my husband as he built a very strong relationship with Tyler.....they were "buddies" and Ashley helped me so immensely in Jr. Church when she would come. They will forever hold a special place in our hearts!! Pray for God to give my husband clarity of speech in his message and that God will sing "through" me because certainly I will not be able to utter one note without His strength!!! Pray for the other Pastor who will also speak and his daughter who will sing as well. If only one life can be reached for Christ through all of this mess, it will somehow be worth the struggle in a strange sense of it all.

Joanna’s mother made a statement yesterday while we were there that made an impact on me and caused me to somehow piece it together in some odd way. She said: "They (meaning Brian, Joanna and the kids) did EVERYTHING together. There was NOTHING they did apart from one another." My husband had previously made the statement that God was merciful enough to not leave one without the other. And I couldn't help but think..........that's a display of God's Amazing Grace........they did everything here together and so God, in all His loving kindness, so carefully orchestrated their “Homegoing” together as well!!!!!!!!!! Now………..is that any consolation for that family? Not hardly. I would never say it to them because they cannot see past their pain, anguish and tears right now. No one expects them to and if anyone does they are foolish. But for those of us who can sit back and look in from the outside can maybe see a dim reflection, just a glimpse of that moment when they all entered the gates of Heaven together. In life they lived and loved and in death they are still living…….Living where they will never face death again!! Death has been swallowed up in Victory for them!!! One day, hopefully they will be able to sort it out and looking back see a partial explanation to this horrifying time they were called to go through. Until then we all need to flood Heaven with pleas of mercy for them!!

We sometimes ask the question: “Lord, why this road? Why this pain?” But we have to be confident in the fact that He has never failed us and will not. He can not!! He promised He would not!! I know with all my heart that He will come shining through this time even though I can’t see it now. I guess when I asked Him to mold me to be more like Him; I forgot to mention that I didn't want it to be this painful. But, we all know the old cliché......."no pain......no gain!!!" What we all need to realize is that "His pain" was for "our gain."

The family I have spoken of is living out the worst nightmare a family could ever have to imagine. However, with God’s grace and by His grace only, they will be able to wake up from it one day and see through the pain. They will never, ever be able to “get over” it, but with our prayers and God’s love they will be able to “go on” in spite of it. My prayer for them is God’s Amazing grace showers them like a flood and covers them in constant waves of mercy.

“In seasons of distress and grief, my soul has often found relief…….by Thy return sweet hour of prayer.” As great as the depths of their grief, greater is the depths of our Father’s love.


“You, which have shown me great and sore troubles,

will revive me again, and will bring me up again from

the depths of the earth. You will increase my greatness,

and comfort me on every side.

Psalm 71:20-21

"My heart is aching!!!!"

As we sat eating lunch with my dad and a couple of dear friends this afternoon the headlines flashed:............."the King of Pop rushed to the hospital with cardiac arrest!!!" I could hardly believe my eyes. I immediately sat up and paid attention to the TV as I watched the newscasters flock around the motorcade that carried Michael Jackson to an LA hospital. I watched intently to see what else I could gather from the news scrolling across the bottom of the television. As I went back to my conversation with the people at the table I got lost in what we were discussing not thinking to much more about it, other than the fact that they he would somehow survive and have a strong comeback to his upcoming tour. Unfortunately as we left my dads house Shelley(our middle daughter) sent me a text message that said: "OMG!!!!! Michael Jackson passed away!!!!" I was immediately saddened by that news!!! My heart sank!! I remember listening to him "all" my life from the time I was a little girl to the very present!!! He was one of my "idols," if you will. I never, never missed American Bandstand, Soul Train or any other show I knew he and his brothers, The Jackson Five, would be on. I think I had every album they ever made. Over the years I watched his rise to fame and all the pitfalls, his failures and his successes. I paid particular attention to any news that may have related to him, rebuking those who accused him of horrifying things!! No matter what he ever did to himself, I still believed in him whether he made wise decisions or poor choices. I always had the strong inclination to pray for him. In so many instances I felt even though he was surrounded by the trillions of fans, he was still very alone and afraid in a great big world many times. Some of his songs screamed so loudly that he was in need of someone who cared. There was always a strange connection that I felt to him, maybe the musical inclination in both of our lives, I don't know. I absolutely loved his music from the time I was young until this very day. Some Christians, I know, will disagree with me and tell me I'm wrong, but that's ok. Everyone has the right to their own opinion.

For some reason God said today was the day Michael would stand before his Maker face to face. Sadly enough there were so many lose ends that he left untied. Young children still unraised and although I'm sure they'll be well taken care of monetarily, they will not have the physical presence of their father. And whether or not they had any contact with him, they will still feel the impact of his death. And I am very sure all the tabloids will focus on his failures and his fame and all the other things that surround the lifestyle he lived, but I can assure you, not one of those tabloids will be concerned where he is now spending eternity. Some will say he did not go to Heaven, some will swear he did. I'm not to say. My only hope is that one day in his lifetime he made the decision to accept Christ as his Saviour. There were many situations in his life that would have given him opportunity to do so. It seems that put in the right position, you always look to God to be your help. Maybe, just maybe in one of those very lonely, isolated times that he had here, he cried out to God for help and found his salvation in the one Whom he stands before today.

And isn't it strange that millions and millions will mourn the death of Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett for many years to come, yet those same millions have no recollection of the One who hung on a cross and gave us what neither of them would have ever been capable of!!

I, in no way, want to discount the fact that many will hurt over the loss of these two great legends in their own time. I myself, will mourn the death of Michael Jackson. My prayer will be that God will minister to those left behind that loved them and that He will send someone to them that will be able to share Christ with them. However, my point is that there is no one, no thing and no amount of money that can keep you living and breathing here on this earth when God says your time here is through. When that time comes, the choice is no longer up to us.

While the choice IS still yours:

"Seek the LORD while He may be found; call to Him while He is near. "
(Isaiah 55:6)